Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
