The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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