She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
