I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
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