I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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