Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
