Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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