I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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