got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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