eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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