In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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