U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
