The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
