What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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