this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
