my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
