Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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