So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
