why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
