I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
