don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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