cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
