I look better un-naked...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
