i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
