My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
