She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
