you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
