I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
