I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
