I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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