i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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