Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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