Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
