69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
