you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
