We won't sleep together?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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