I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
