Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
