He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
