only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
