She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
