Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
