So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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