Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Boobs are out for the taking
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
