I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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