I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
