If you die in college, do you die in real life?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
