You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
