NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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