i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
