Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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