I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
